First things first, this picture is hilarious; its Chris Farley reincarnated as a 3 year old girl. Amazing.This past weekend I performed at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia. This is an amazing club, absolutely top notch. I had one of my favorite weeks of comedy ever. The staff and mgnt are wonderful to work with and they do everything right for a comedy show. The crowds were great all week, every show - thanks Philly!
I spent the week with my brother and his wife and my sister-in-law's family. I had a blast...except for the SEPTA train. I love Philly but I'm not a big fan of their public transportation system. In short, it's a hot mess. I never knew where I was, never knew where I was going, never felt completely safe, and had to constantly ask people what to do....this guy, not a big fan.
Fortunately, their were some cool people on the train who helped me out. These people would not include the SEPTA employees themselves. They were not big fans of helping people or pointing them in the right direction. They were, however, a big fan of completely ignoring me and making me feel like I do when I go to my auto mechanic. Like, they know some stuff that I don't and we'll just leave it at that.
Basically, the train has a sign on the very front that is about the size of one of those bicycle license plates you'd get out of a Captain Crunch box when you were a kid. That sign was how you identified the train and its destination. Then you sit down and just stare blankly until 5 stops later when a worker stands above you and waits for you to give him money. It's at this point that you hand him a $20 and hope that its enough and that whatever should be leftover is returned to you...I'm not sure that it was.
The ride home at midnight is exceptional. The key is to find a seat that does not have either a crackhead and/or homeless person passed out in it. Generally, these type of people either take up the entire seat and/or smell like AIDS. Once you find yourself a seat, you cuddle in the corner and try to conserve heat because the train certainly isn't going to throw any your way. You want to either pass out or cry yourself to sleep but you can't because you have to be on your toes at all times because:
1. Someone may try to stab you
and/or
2. You want to make sure you don't miss your stop which can be tricky due to the fact that there is absolutely nothing signaling what stop you are approaching. No sign inside the train, no announcement made by an employee, no lighted sign on the platform. You basically have to just stare out the window and strain to see any signal that may be available.
Very stressful but philladelphians are good people and helped me out a lot. Basically, Philly is awesome. The SEPTA train not so much.
I spent the week with my brother and his wife and my sister-in-law's family. I had a blast...except for the SEPTA train. I love Philly but I'm not a big fan of their public transportation system. In short, it's a hot mess. I never knew where I was, never knew where I was going, never felt completely safe, and had to constantly ask people what to do....this guy, not a big fan.
Fortunately, their were some cool people on the train who helped me out. These people would not include the SEPTA employees themselves. They were not big fans of helping people or pointing them in the right direction. They were, however, a big fan of completely ignoring me and making me feel like I do when I go to my auto mechanic. Like, they know some stuff that I don't and we'll just leave it at that.
Basically, the train has a sign on the very front that is about the size of one of those bicycle license plates you'd get out of a Captain Crunch box when you were a kid. That sign was how you identified the train and its destination. Then you sit down and just stare blankly until 5 stops later when a worker stands above you and waits for you to give him money. It's at this point that you hand him a $20 and hope that its enough and that whatever should be leftover is returned to you...I'm not sure that it was.
The ride home at midnight is exceptional. The key is to find a seat that does not have either a crackhead and/or homeless person passed out in it. Generally, these type of people either take up the entire seat and/or smell like AIDS. Once you find yourself a seat, you cuddle in the corner and try to conserve heat because the train certainly isn't going to throw any your way. You want to either pass out or cry yourself to sleep but you can't because you have to be on your toes at all times because:
1. Someone may try to stab you
and/or
2. You want to make sure you don't miss your stop which can be tricky due to the fact that there is absolutely nothing signaling what stop you are approaching. No sign inside the train, no announcement made by an employee, no lighted sign on the platform. You basically have to just stare out the window and strain to see any signal that may be available.
Very stressful but philladelphians are good people and helped me out a lot. Basically, Philly is awesome. The SEPTA train not so much.
No comments:
Post a Comment