Tonight I'll be featuring at the Baltimore Comedy Factory with headliner and good buddy Justin Schlegel. The MC is Kojo Mante who is also a friend of mine and is making his Factory debut. This show will be full of happiness and joy and I recommend checking it out. We'll be performing Thursday thru Saturday (www.baltimorecomedy.com). Come to B-more and discover Jagermeister all over again.
I'm gonna come clean here; Justin, Kojo, and myself all found ourselves at the same open mic last night and we all bombed. We were trying some new stuff to get ready for this weekend's shows and it wasn't pretty. Kojo went first and started off well but by the end of his set, he had engulfed a fairly substantial stink burger; I'd call it a Big Mac. Justin went next and immediately inserted a Hardees 1/2 pound six dollar stink burger into his pie hole. I completed the trifecta by engulfing a monster Wendy's classic triple stink burger. That's 3/4 pounds of poo, folks...impressive. Most people watching this spectacle would assume Kojo would be the headliner, Justin would be the feature and I would be bussing tables at Burke's restaurant directly below the Comedy Factory.
While bombing doesn't destroy my ego like it used to, I still care what people think of me. It's not the lack of acceptance from the audience that I worry about, it's more the perception of the other comedians that I am concerned with. Now that I get the occasional booking, I must admit that I feel some pressure to perform well wherever I go. I feel like newer comics may look at me and think, "why does this douchebag ever get booked? He's awful." After last night, I honestly couldn't blame them.
Nevertheless, after this brief analyzation, I think it's a good lesson in humility. Even when you think you're doing well, there are people in the audience who don't get it and when you're doing poorly, somebody out there might actually be enjoying it. At the end of the day, you still have to like yourself.
Switching gears, I just looked down at my khackis and good grief are they filthy. I've been wearing these things for like 3 years and have accumulated a plethora of grime all over them. I'm kind of ashamed right now...wow. I bought work clothes over 3 years ago when I started my current job. I have not bought work clothes since that time; a fact my co-workers would find ridiculously obvious. I think it's time to go shopping.
I'd also like to take this time to talk about my wife. Go ahead and ridicule me, 4 people who read my blog. Look, my wife reads these things as well and daddy needs some new golf clubs. Actually, I don't even golf. Don't care for the sport...golfers are a cruel breed and cannot be trusted. I just typed myself into being retarded. Wow.
The best thing about her is that she knows her role. She recognizes her duties around the house and knows to toe the line or else... The key is to keep her in check at all times - never show weakness, fellas...never. Submissiveness is hard to find in a woman these days. Where do you find a woman like that you might ask. Well, not in the United States where heathen women are taking over that's for sure...try Korea.
My wife, Amy, is a cool chick and has put up with a lot over the years. For that and many other things, I love and thank her.
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