Humility

Yesterday I went skiing with comedy wizard Justin Schlegel. The day started out promising; I made it down the mountain three times in a row without falling. Brimming with confidence we migrated to a more difficult slope figuring we'd be on the black diamonds within the hour...that never happened. I spent the rest of the day snowplowing down the intermediate slopes, losing equipment with every fall. Fortunately, the ski lift passed directly over the slope we were using so every 13 year old could see me fall and comment on my deficiencies. Over the course of the day, I heard the following remarks, "way to go slugger," "Nice one," and "ha ha." I only go skiing once or twice a year and I realize this is not enough to become a proficient skier. Still, I consider myself reasonably athletic and was embarrassed by the performance. I think the best/worst part of the day was when I wiped out so bad that my ski popped off and I ended up crashing about 40 feet beyond the ski. Once I took inventory and was satisfied that nothing was broken I looked up the hill to locate the missing ski. A little girl, no more than 12, picked up the ski and slalomed down to my location. She looked down at me, "here you go mister" and then gracefully flew down the mountain. On a side note, I think Justin dislocated his shoulder. He got X-rays last night but I haven't heard the report yet.

After skiing, we did what every skier driving through Hagerstown, MD does...we stopped at Western SizzliN for dinner. Neither of us had ever eaten at this fine establishment but we were intrigued so we decided to check it out. We looked things over and decided to go with the buffet - horrible decision. It was absolutely disgusting. Below is an actual review of the Western SizzliN that I found on www.igougo.com.

My wife was mad that she did not get the Friday special that included a drink and the potato, soup, salad, and dessert bar for $4.95 because she is not a big meat eater, so check their lunch specials for alternatives.
In short, it is a very limited item buffet compared to national chain buffets like Golden Corral or Old Country Buffet.

While this review is not overly descriptive, it does give you a glance of the clientele you will find at a Western SizzliN. Also, any time you are playing second fiddle to the Golden Corral, you are a terrible restaurant.

I simply could not muscle down the buffet so I decided to scrap plan A and opt for plan B, a Western SizzliN entree. After the decision had been made, Justin pointed out that if the buffet was horrendous, the entrees would most likely be the same. This assessment was both logical and accurate. I decided to go all out and ordered the most expensive entree on the menu, the 16 oz T-bone for $11.99. You may be wondering what a $12 T-bone tastes like...exactly what you think it tastes like. I shamelessly asked for it to be cooked medium rare, they decided to cook it medium gray. It was grisly and soggy and I ate all 16 ounces. Immediately after devouring this hot mess, I headed for the restroom. I could not locate the men's room but did find the women's room and discovered a note on the door that read, "ask staff for location of men's room." I tracked down a waiter who responded, "we've got an outhouse in the back." I thanked him and headed for the door. He yelled after me, "I'm just kidding man! Our bathroom is broken so you'll have to use the employees bathroom." What's sad is that I never even questioned him, I completely believed that they lacked indoor plumbing. To get to the employees bathroom, you had to walk through the kitchen, bad move. Once in the kitchen I could see the environment and observed the cooks; it was not pretty. The thing that bothered me was that I didn't see a lot of prep work nor did I actually see any meat sizzliN. In fact, there was no grill in sight; meat was just appearing. This bothered me.

With my belly full with gray meat, I made my way back to the table to find Justin doubled over. The buffet had made him ill and the pain from his shoulder was becoming unbearable. We had to get him out of there so I asked for the bill. Upon seeing the bill, I became slightly annoyed that I had just spent a total of $27 for a buffet and 16 oz T-bone at the Western SizzliN...at least I got to take a dump in their bathroom.