I'm not very intelligent...

I performed at Dr Grins in Grand Rapids, Michigan over the weekend. It was a really fun week and the headliner, Arj Barker, was really cool and funny. The MC was one Stu McCallister who is also cool and funny and very tall and slendor. Some funny things happened and I'd like to share:

- We were invited to a club after the show. I spent most of this time sitting awkwardly in the corner while women approached Arj. At one point a girl walked up to me and offered me some drinks from her tray. I grabbed one and thanked her to which she replied, "you have to pay me for that." It was at this point I realized I don't understand the concept of a cocktail waitress nor do I recognize one when I see them.

- It was rumored that Joe Piscapo was in the club so I spent the remaining 2 hours walking around trying to find him so I could take a low resolution picture of us with my camera phone. Eventually, I gave up when I realized that I am a complete loser.

- Later that night, at approximately 4:30 am, we went to a diner. While there, some dirty rednecks started chatting me up. They liked me very much because I acted as a puppet and would do things they asked me to do like; make fun of our friend! or eat these fries! At one point, the girl in the group stood up and demanded that I take a bite of her burger. I think she demanded it because her exact words were, "eat my burger, ###hole!" I decided to eat it. It was at this point that I realized I am far too easily persuaded.

- After one of the shows, a hipsterish looking d-bag approached me and said, "dude, you need to stop drinking water during your act." I told him I didn't understand what he was saying. He explained it to me by saying, "Because, you'd be funnier if you were drinking." It was at this point that I realized I am tender and fragile and words hurt sometimes even when they come from a smelly hippy.

While driving through Ohio I found a Pennsylvania turnpike ticket on the seat of my car. It was at this point I realized I am going to have to pay a fine in the coming weeks. I'm still not sure how this happened? I mean, come on PA! I have money and I want to pay the ticket fee....why did you even give me the option? I never went through the cattle shoots? How did this happen?

It was a really fun week though and I met a lot of really nice people.

The end.