Triathlon

On Saturday, I completed my first ever "sprint" triathlon. However, I must admit that I didn't do a whole lot of sprinting. I have included a picture for my reader's viewing pleasure and strategically chose one that masks my pale, chubby body. The guy on the left is my brother who is my special boy and the guy on the right is my brother-in-law Scott. This picture was taken just minutes before we entered the water. As you can see, I've got my game face on.

Things went pretty well; to sum things up:

The swim - I was fine until I was about 200 yards offshore and in the middle of the lake. It was there that I realized I had not paced myself and was now gassed. Panic quickly set in as I realized I may drown. Fortunately, my razor sharp instincts kicked in and I smartly doggy paddled for about 75 yards to regain my composure. I could tell the other competitors were impressed with my technique. Once I relaxed, I got my stroke back and finished the swim off with a horrendous time.

The bike - The bike segment of the race went really well except for the two times I threw up in my mouth. I wish I were making this up...but I'm not. I think the left over adrenaline from my near drowning incident left my body a little out-of-whack. I had plenty of energy but my body still decided that mini throw-ups were a good idea. Regardless, I soldiered on and completed the bike with a respectable time.

The run - I was feeling pretty good once I reached the transition area and prepared myself for the final leg of the journey. As I changed into my running shoes I decided to slam a "gel pack" for some quick and much needed energy. A gel pack is basically a combination of complex carbohydrates and amino acids in gel form that provides the athlete with proper nutrition for maximum performance. A gel pack is also disgusting, particularly the vanilla bean flavor. I squished it into my mouth and immediately held back a full blown vomit. Not the way you want to start a 3 mile run. I finished the race but definitely did more plodding than running.

I learned some things from my first triathlon. They are:

- I am chubby. All the competitors were extremely lean...me, not so much.
- When another swimmer accidentally kicks you, don't try to punch them underwater. It's a waste of time and energy.
- Most importantly, triathlons are a great way to make friends

It was really encouraging to meet new people and to cheer for and be cheered by complete strangers. Another thing that was cool was that everyone was competing against themselves not each other. Although it is fun to be part of a team, it was really nice to shoulder full responsibility for my performance. That is one reason why I like stand-up comedy. At the end of the day, it's all on you.

I would definitely do another triathlon but I would be smarter about my training and dieting.

Congratulations to Mike Way for winning the DC Improv showcase finals. Mike was great, as was Tim Miller, Aparna Nanchurla, Pete Bergen, Kojo Mante, Jason Weems, and John McBride.